Breaking
by surrexi
Summary: Sawyer wants to break her. It's not like she doesn't have Saint Jack to pick up the pieces anyway.


**_Breaking_**  
Jack/Kate AU post-1.07 PG-13 (Warning: attempted rape)  
_Summary:_ Sawyer wants to break her. It's not like she doesn't have Saint Jack to pick up the pieces anyway.  
_Author's Note:_ This was written during early season one. This was _honestly_ the vibe I was getting off Sawyer every time he tackled Kate and made some lewd remark. If Sawyer had been written then the way he is now, I probably never would have written this fic. I'd still intensely dislike the man, but I probably wouldn't believe him capable of rape. As it is... I stand by this fic. This is how I perceived his character trajectory in the early days of season one. I think we can all be thankful that it didn't play out this way. I also find it interesting that when I initially posted this on LJ back in season one, I didn't get anyone telling me that it was wildly out of character. Food for thought.  
_Complete:_ Yes

* * *

_Sawyer wants her, and he doesn't bother trying to convince himself otherwise. And what Sawyer wants…Sawyer gets. No matter what anyone else has to say about it. _

_He watches her with the doctor. Saint Jack, he thinks derisively. He thinks they must have had a hell of a reunion once Jacko got himself out of the cave, because it seems like they're always touching each other now. His hand at her waist or her hand on his shoulder. Sawyer thinks they're standing closer together as well, sees their faces almost touching as they talk about something too serious for the peons like Sawyer to be privy to. _

_He thinks she's beautiful. Cold and haughty, eyes like ice and a jaw like stone. Sawyer thinks she'd be a firecracker in the sack. And God knows, Sawyer likes them hot. _

_But she's put her lot in with the good doctor, and the two of them are practically joined at the hip. Sawyer tries to think of a reason why a red-blooded woman would choose Saint Jack over Sawyer the Badass. He can't think of any, and that pisses him off. _

_She glances at him briefly, just long enough to scowl because she can see that he's staring. _

_So hard, he thinks. So cold. She thinks he can't break her. _

_Sawyer wants to break her. _

_It's not like she doesn't have Saint Jack to pick up the pieces anyway. _

_Sawyer wants to break her. _

_And what Sawyer wants…Sawyer gets. _

"Michael is drawing up plans for a dam," Jack said as he helped Kate load up some backpacks with empty water bottles. "Showers, too," he added.

"Showers?" Kate couldn't hide the touch of excitement. "Really?"

Jack grinned. "If he builds them, will you come?"

Her smile froze a little. "Jack…"

"I know," he said softly. He reached out and stroked her cheek lightly. "I know."

He dropped his hand and bit back a sigh. He told himself that things with Kate, whatever they were, would work themselves out in the end.

"So this should be the last load of water you guys will need for a couple days, added to the stuff Scott and Steve are bringing back," he said, doing Kate the favor of pulling the conversation off of dangerous ground.

Kate nodded. She was about to say something when she got the definite feeling she was being glared at. She glanced around and saw Sawyer sitting in Jack's old medical tent, staring at her and Jack. She frowned.

"You okay?" Jack asked, looking in the direction of her gaze. He saw Sawyer. "Oh," he said. "He doesn't bother you, does he?"

"He bothers everyone, Jack." Her voice was matter of fact as she hoisted a backpack onto her shoulders.

"Kate. I mean does he _bother_ you."

"I know what you meant. And no. He just stares a lot, that's all." She shrugged. "It's annoying. It's not a crime."

Jack grimaced. "As long as all he does is stare."

Kate grinned. "Or else what? You'll beat on him for messing with your girl?" She blinked rapidly when she realized what she'd said.

Jack merely smiled enigmatically. "Something like that." He was about to suggest they get a move on when he saw Sayid walking down the beach.

"Listen, I need to go talk to Sayid for a minute about cycling duty for maintaining the fire. Will you wait here with the stuff?"

Kate nodded. "Sure, Jack."

"Thanks, Kate." He touched her shoulder lightly, and then set his backpack down. "I'll be right back."

"Don't threaten me," she said jokingly, grinning at the laugh Jack tossed over his shoulder as he walked towards Sayid. She set her backpack down again and stared out at the ocean. So intent was her contemplation of the sea, her unconscious scanning of the horizon for a ship, that she didn't even notice Sawyer walk up to her.

"Hey, Freckles," his deep voice suddenly drawled in her ear. Even as she gasped in surprise, his hand clamped down on her wrist. "Let's go somewhere more private."

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed as he hauled her to her feet and started pulling her towards the treeline. "Let go!"

He pulled her strongly against his body and clamped his free hand over her mouth. "Shh, darlin'," he muttered. "We don't want to ruin our privacy, now, do we?"

Kate had a strong feeling that she _did_ in fact want to ruin their privacy, a feeling that was borne out when he shoved her against a huge tree trunk and then trapped her between it and his body.

"Let's have some fun," he said, leering suggestively and grinding his hips against hers.

"Let's not," she replied, her tone as sharp as she could make it. She fought to keep the fear out of her eyes, but he saw it and thrilled.

"Oh," he said roughly. "Did I give you the impression you had a choice?" With a suddenness and quickness that shocked Kate, he threw her to the ground and settled himself firmly on top of her.

Before she'd caught her breath, his hands were up her shirt roughly squeezing her breasts. She screamed in rage and fear, clawed at his face with her nails.

"Now, Freckles, that just won't do at all," he mumbled. He removed his hands from under her shirt, ripping it and her bra in the process, and captured her flailing hands.

"JACK!" she screamed in desperation. "JACK!"

Sawyer slapped her across the face in response. "That ain't my name, sweetheart," he growled. Holding her wrists together with one hand, he reached for the clasp of her jeans with the other.

"You don't use mine," she gritted, still desperately fighting the fear. "And I wasn't talking to you, anyway." Without pausing for breath, she screamed again. "JACK!" She earned another slap, and then Sawyer crushed his mouth on hers, and it felt like he was trying to remove her tonsils with his tongue. She gagged and renewed her escape efforts.

"Come on, Freckles, why don't you just settle down a little?" Roughly he bit her lip and she tasted blood. She wished it was his. He called her Freckles again and she wished for Jack, who always used her name, always said her name like no one else had ever said her name before, as if it was a benediction, a prayer. She fought to keep her mind from drifting off the important task of getting Sawyer off of her, but somewhere inside it was registering that, barring a miracle, she was stuck. And she didn't want to be all there when it happened.

Sawyer was breaking her.

And then he was gone, his weight suddenly lifted from her body in one movement, as if God Himself had reached down from Heaven and plucked Sawyer off of her. For a moment she stared in confusion at the canopy of leaves above her, and then the sound of a struggle tore her away from her contemplation of the patterns of light across the leaves.

God hadn't pulled Sawyer off of her, though He might have sent the men who did, Kate decided. But it was Sayid and _Jack_ who'd made Sawyer stop. Even as Kate started to sit up, Jack was turning his back on Sayid and Sawyer. By the time Kate had managed to prop herself up on her elbows, Jack was kneeling at her side.

"God, Kate, are you all right?" His voice was rough and strained, and he surveyed the damage with fear for her behind his eyes. She was still trying to find words to say when Jack continued. "You need a shirt," he said, pulling his own off his back.

Kate glanced down at her tattered shirt and bra and decided he was right. She numbly allowed him to help her get his shirt on.

He had just tugged the bottom of the shirt down to her waist when his eyes met hers. "You're all right now," he said softly. "You're all right."

She started to nod, then simply threw her arms around his neck and cried into his bare chest. He sat down on the ground and gathered her into his lap, drawing comforting circles on her back with his hand and whispering soothing words in her ear. He looked up at Sayid, who had finally landed a knockout punch on Sawyer.

"Take him back to the beach and make sure he's tied up tightly. We'll decide how to deal with him later." Jack kept his tone soft so as not to alarm Kate further, but his eyes were cold and flinty as he glanced from Sayid's concerned face to Sawyer's unconscious form.

"I will make sure he won't be hurting anyone else any time soon," Sayid said carefully before hoisting Sawyer over his shoulders in a fireman's carry and heading back towards the beach, his expression grim and his heart heavy.

Sayid hadn't gone two steps before Jack's attentions were fixed completely back on the crying woman in his arms. He continued to run his hand up and down her back and murmur meaningless words in a comforting tone. He had had years upon years of medical training. If she was bleeding, he could make it stop. If her bones were broken, he could heal them.

It all meant nothing in the face of the psychological trauma he knew went hand in hand with an attempted rape. He was a surgeon. It was rare that he was called in for rape cases, even when he was on ER rotations. He tried to think back to the psych lessons he'd had about handling rape victims, but the half-remembered suggestions and guidelines seemed trite in the face of Kate's tears, hot and wet against his skin.

Somewhere inside Kate's distressed mind, it registered that she'd been weeping against Jack's naked chest for a relatively long period of time. And while she'd had some interesting fantasies in the last few days involving Jack's naked chest, none of them had involved her crying after almost being raped.

She sniffled and tried to catch her breath. "Jack," she began, lifting her head so she could look him in the eye and swallowing back a half-sob.

"Shh, Kate. It's okay."

"No, I shouldn't cry all over you…"

Jack shushed her with a finger laid gently on her lips. "Don't be ridiculous." He dropped his hand away from her face, not wanting to alarm her in any way.

Kate's breath hitched as she fought back the sobs, though tears continued to leak from her eyes.

"You saved me," she managed, a wonder-filled smile crossing her face. "You saved me."

Jack couldn't keep himself from reaching up to brush the tears off her cheeks with his thumb. "Of course I did." He managed a self-deprecating smile. "I could never have lived with myself otherwise."

Kate's smile faded a little. Jack's hero complex again, she thought. She scrambled to her feet, turned her back to him and furiously wiped her hands across her face, scrubbing away the tears.

"Doctor Jack, saving the world," she said softly.

"Kate," he said from behind her. She didn't turn until she felt a feather-light touch on her shoulder.

"It's not like that, Kate," he said once her eyes met his. "If Sawyer…" Jack couldn't finish the sentence. "If _anything_ happened to you, Kate…"

Kate watched the emotions flit around behind his eyes, and wasn't sure if she should be happy or unsure when she thought she saw a shadow of what could be love.

She didn't flinch when he reached out and touched her cheek, because it was _Jack_ touching her, and somehow, Jack would always be allowed to touch her. Even after what Sawyer had tried to do.

His hand cupping her cheek softly, Jack took a risk. "I can't lose you, Kate."

"Why?" Feeling suddenly brave, she stepped closer to him, pressed her cheek against his hand. "Why can't you lose me, Jack?"

His eyes bored into hers. "I think you know why."

In the space of a breath, she realized that Sawyer's actions gave her reason to force her own hand with Jack. Why waste time dancing around semantics and camp locations when anything could happen to either of them at any time? If and when the rescue party came, Kate realized that she wanted there to be enough between them to hold her to Jack even when they left the island. And if she didn't start building that now, who knew when she'd get the chance. In the space of a breath, she decided that she'd curl up in a ball and cry over what had almost happened _after_ she'd not only forced her own hand, but Jack's as well. Some things were worth going against instinct for.

She stepped even closer to Jack, put a hand against his chest.

"Why, Jack?"

"Because it's you, Kate," he said after a beat. He wanted to kiss her then, lay her down and be with her, but he could still hear her screams and see her lying prone under Sawyer's body. So he kissed her forehead softly, lingeringly. "Because it's you," he repeated.

She stared at him, surprised by his restraint and his honesty. Then she let out a startled gasp and threw her arms around his neck when he suddenly hooked an arm under her knees and lifted her up.

"Let's get you to the caves and get you some water and some first aid for those cuts."

Kate smiled. "Okay," she murmured. She laid her head on Jack's shoulder and let him carry her to the caves.

And in that moment, it was enough.


End file.
